The universal problem of relapse in behavioral marital therapy.

Relapse is a common problem that affects individuals trying to change their behavior or overcome an addiction. It is defined as a return to a previous state after a period of improvement. Relapse can occur in various contexts, such as medicine, psychology, and behavioral marital therapy.

The first universal problem of relapse is the failure of individuals to do what is beneficial for them. This problem is ubiquitous in medicine and affects patients who do not adhere to treatment regimens prescribed by their physicians. Patients who fail to follow their treatment plans risk experiencing negative health outcomes, such as disease progression, complications, and hospitalization. Studies show that nonadherence to medical treatments is a significant problem that affects up to 50% of patients with chronic illnesses.

The reasons for nonadherence are multifactorial and include patient-related factors, such as forgetfulness, fear of side effects, and lack of motivation. In addition, healthcare-related factors, such as complex treatment regimens, inadequate communication, and insufficient support, can also contribute to non-adherence. Addressing these factors can help improve adherence and prevent relapse.

In behavioral marital therapy, relapse refers to the recurrence of marital problems after a period of improvement. Behavioral marital therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on improving couples' communication, problem-solving, and conflict-resolution skills. The goal of this therapy is to enhance the quality of the marital relationship and reduce the risk of divorce.

Relapse in behavioral marital therapy can occur due to various reasons, such as a lack of practice, unrealistic expectations, and stress. Couples who fail to practice their newly acquired skills are at risk of relapse. In addition, couples who have unrealistic expectations of their relationship may become disappointed when their expectations are not met, leading to relapse. Finally, stressors such as financial problems, job loss, and health issues can also increase the risk of relapse.

To prevent relapse in behavioral marital therapy, Serenity Space Therapy couples counselors use various strategies, such as reinforcement, self-monitoring, and problem-solving. Reinforcement involves rewarding couples for their progress and encouraging them to continue practicing their skills. Self-monitoring involves tracking the couple's progress and identifying areas for improvement. Problem-solving involves identifying potential stressors and developing coping strategies to deal with them.

In conclusion, relapse is a common problem that affects individuals trying to change their behavior or overcome an addiction. The first universal problem of relapse is the failure of individuals to do what is beneficial for them. In contrast, relapse in behavioral marital therapy refers to the recurrence of marital problems after a period of improvement. Addressing the reasons for nonadherence and using strategies to prevent relapse can help individuals achieve their goals and improve their quality of life.

Panksepp's seven emotional command systems

Panksepp's seven emotional command systems are a set of brain circuits that regulate primary emotional responses in mammals. These systems are considered evolutionarily conserved, meaning they have remained relatively unchanged throughout mammalian evolution. Here are the seven emotional command systems:

  1. SEEKING: The SEEKING system is responsible for the motivation to explore and acquire resources. It is associated with feelings of curiosity, excitement, and anticipation. When this system is activated, the individual experiences a sense of pleasure and reward.

  2. RAGE: The RAGE system is responsible for the aggressive and defensive responses to perceived threats. It is associated with feelings of anger, frustration, and irritation. When this system is activated, the individual experiences an intense desire to attack or defend.

  3. FEAR: The FEAR system is responsible for the avoidance and defensive responses to perceived danger. It is associated with feelings of anxiety, apprehension, and terror. When this system is activated, the individual experiences a sense of fear and tries to escape or hide from the danger.

  4. LUST: The LUST system is responsible for the sexual and reproductive behaviors. It is associated with feelings of desire, attraction, and pleasure. When this system is activated, the individual experiences a strong urge to engage in sexual activity.

  5. CARE: The CARE system is responsible for nurturing and caregiving behaviors. It is associated with feelings of love, empathy, and warmth. When this system is activated, the individual experiences a sense of satisfaction and pleasure from caring for others.

  6. PANIC: The PANIC system is responsible for the separation distress response. It is associated with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and despair. When this system is activated, the individual experiences a sense of panic and distress when separated from a caregiver or social group.

  7. PLAY: The PLAY system is responsible for social and exploratory behaviors. It is associated with feelings of joy, happiness, and excitement. When this system is activated, the individual experiences a sense of pleasure and reward from engaging in play activities with others.

These emotional command systems work together to regulate an individual's behavior and response to their environment. Dysfunction in these systems can lead to various psychiatric and neurological disorders. Understanding these systems can help researchers develop more effective treatments for these conditions.

Gottman and DeClaire adapted Panksepp's seven emotional command systems and renamed them to fit their research.

Gottman and DeClaire, in their book "The Heart of the Matter: Perspectives on Emotion in Marital Therapy," adapted Panksepp's seven emotional command systems and renamed them to fit their research on marriage and relationships better. Here are the adapted names for the seven emotional command systems:

  1. SEEKING is renamed to "Approach/Desire System": This system motivates individuals to approach positive stimuli, including their partner. It is associated with feelings of desire, enthusiasm, and interest.

  2. RAGE is renamed to "Fight System": This system activates when individuals perceive a threat or injustice. It is associated with feelings of anger, frustration, and hostility.

  3. FEAR is renamed to "Flight System": This system activates when individuals perceive a threat and are motivated to avoid it. It is associated with feelings of anxiety, apprehension, and fear.

  4. LUST is renamed to "Reproductive System": This system drives sexual desire and behavior.

  5. CARE is renamed to "Attachment System": This system regulates bonding and attachment behaviors, including nurturing, caregiving, and seeking emotional support.

  6. PANIC is renamed to "Separation System": This system is activated when individuals experience separation or loss. It is associated with feelings of grief, sadness, and despair.

  7. PLAY is renamed to "Soothing System": This system is associated with activities that promote relaxation, stress reduction, and positive emotions. It includes activities such as play, humor, and affectionate touch.

Gottman and DeClaire used these systems to develop their theory of emotional communication in relationships. They argue that these systems work together in couples to regulate emotions and behavior and that conflicts arise when these systems become unbalanced or incompatible. By understanding these systems and how they operate in relationships, couples can improve their emotional communication and strengthen their connection.

What are Gottman Method Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

When it comes to couples therapy, there are several different approaches that therapists can use to help couples improve their relationships. Two popular approaches are the Gottman Method Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). While both approaches aim to help couples improve their relationships, they have different underlying philosophies and techniques.

The Gottman Method Therapy was developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman and is based on over 40 years of research on couples. The approach focuses on helping couples strengthen their friendship, manage conflict, and create shared meaning in their relationship. The Gottman Method Therapy uses various techniques, including couples dialogue, conflict management, and shared rituals, to help couples achieve these goals.

On the other hand, EFT was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and focused on helping couples understand and regulate their emotions to improve their relationship. The approach is based on attachment theory, which posits that the bond quality between couples is central to their emotional well-being. EFT aims to help couples create a secure attachment bond by helping them identify and express their emotions while also providing a safe and supportive environment for them to do so.

One of the key differences between the two approaches is their focus on emotions. While both approaches recognize the importance of emotions in relationships, EFT emphasizes understanding and regulating emotions. The approach encourages couples to explore the emotions underlying their behaviors and express them in a safe and supportive environment. The Gottman Method Therapy, on the other hand, is more focused on building skills to manage conflict and strengthen the relationship.

Another difference between the two approaches is their approach to change. The Gottman Method Therapy emphasizes making small changes in behavior that can lead to larger improvements in the relationship. For example, the therapist may encourage the couple to take a break during a conflict to calm down before returning to the discussion. On the other hand, EFT emphasizes changing the underlying emotional patterns that are causing problems in the relationship. This may involve exploring past experiences and emotions impacting the couple's relationship in the present.

Despite these differences, the Gottman Method Therapy and EFT are effective in helping couples improve their relationships. A 2019 study comparing the two approaches found that both were effective in reducing relationship distress, although EFT was slightly more effective in improving relationship satisfaction. The study also found that couples who received EFT were more likely to maintain their gains over time.

Both the Gottman Method Therapy and EFT offer effective approaches to couples therapy, although they differ in their underlying philosophies and techniques. Couples considering therapy should speak with a qualified therapist who can help them determine which approach may be best suited to their needs and goals. Ultimately, the most important factor in couples therapy's success is both partners' willingness to engage in the process and work together to improve their relationship.


Alexandra Vaganova at Serenity Space Therapy is a licensed therapist who has extensive training in both the Gottman Method Therapy and EFT. She recognizes that every couple is unique and may benefit from a tailored approach to therapy. As a result, she often combines techniques from both approaches to help couples improve their relationships.

By incorporating techniques from the Gottman Method Therapy and EFT, Alexandra can offer couples a comprehensive approach to therapy that addresses both the emotional and practical aspects of their relationship. For example, she may use techniques from the Gottman Method Therapy to help couples develop communication skills and manage conflict while using EFT techniques to help them explore and express their emotions.

The goal of couples therapy with Alexandra is to help partners create a strong and secure bond that allows them to navigate life's challenges together. Whether using techniques from the Gottman Method Therapy, EFT, or a combination of both, Alexandra works with each couple to find the most effective approach for them.

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