How to Fall in Love with Yourself: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Self-love doesn't arrive as a sudden epiphany. Falling in love with oneself is not an act that can be achieved through sheer willpower or intent. Instead of asking, "How can I love myself?" you might better ask, "How can I get to know myself better?"

This shift in question redirects us from seeking immediate and often unclear affection towards beginning a self-discovery journey.

“Self-love grows quietly and steadily through continuous and mindful self-exploration.”

Exploring Your Inner Self

Can you force yourself to fall in love with yourself using willpower? The answer is no; you can start your journey by taking the first step—exploring yourself, getting to know your parts: the great, adult ones and the imperfect, vulnerable, 'dark,' child-like, self-destructive ones. This process isn't about changing who you are, but rather about understanding and embracing all parts of yourself.

Deepening Self-Acquaintance

The real task then becomes getting to know oneself intimately—without judgments. It's about asking, "What kind of person am I? What made me this way? How do all my parts collaborate within me? Which one sabotages my life? What are the aspects of my inner child? What are my self-destructive tendencies?"

As humans, we can deeply fall in love with ourselves only after engaging in this discovery process; self-love will naturally follow. I work with survivors of narcissistic abuse, and often, we discover with my clients that love bombing is always about demonstrating affection without really getting to know the person.

Embracing Complexity and Contradictions

Only through deep and honest introspection can we find a path to self-love. As we get to know our complexities and contradictions, we learn to accept and cherish them. This is where profound and genuine affection towards ourselves begins.

Self-love grows quietly and steadily through continuous and mindful self-exploration.

Let your journey of knowing yourself be your guide to falling in love with your authentic self.