Meet Alexandra Vaganova, LMFT who helps Community Members to heal Trauma and overcome Addiction.

Today we’d like to introduce you to Alexandra Vaganova.

Hi Alexandra, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
Inspired by my aunt, who spent fifty years treating clients with addiction, I’ve wanted to become a psychotherapist since I was 16 years old. Born and raised in Russia, my teen years lacked inner and external stability. Life as a teenager is already unhinged and stressful, and to add to that, my parents went through a hostile divorce.

In a matter of months, my family went from middle-class college professors to extreme poverty due to a complete collapse of the Russian economy in 1990. Russia became a place of constant political chaos. During my adolescence, I remember almost always feeling anxious, stressed, and depressed, as did the people around me. One of my favorite Latin sayings is “Medice, cura te ipsum,” which means: physician heal thyself. This concept is essential in such a sensitive and complex area like mental health. To help others, one must take care of themselves first. Thus, began my journey to search for internal peace, happiness, and balance. This rocky period lasted about twenty years while I was implementing a self-search daily to discover who this person was in the mirror.

During this time, I hopped between different jobs, careers, countries, cities, and, of course, romantic involvements. I moved to the USA when I was twenty-six years old. Here, I tried several careers as well. I’ve been an artist, a web designer, a perfumer; I created my line of soaps and lotions called “Sher Bery.” Through the years, my initial dream of becoming a psychotherapist was always on the “back burner.” Then, in New York City, I met a fantastic psychotherapist who helped me advance tremendously in my journey of inner healing. Finally, I found myself feeling solid, mature, and ready to help others, so I applied to the MFT master’s program at Nova Southeastern University in South Florida.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
When your life is out of balance, feeling happy is almost impossible. If you’ve been involved in a chaotic lifestyle for years, it may become habitual. In my case, the chaos (plus the NYC lifestyle!) was draining all my energy and resources, including health, finances, and family. Right before I met my therapist, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. The effect of treatment was undeniable after the first session. The therapist guided me through accepting life in its all manifestations: the good, the unfair, the joy, the sadness, etc. It was almost magical; I had gained clarity in seeing the “whole picture.” I knew what I wanted, and I learned how to get it. Piece after piece, my “puzzle” was effortlessly coming together. The outcome was great: I met a wonderful man who became my husband, my finances stabilized, and I finally pursued my dream career as a psychotherapist.

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
One of my most challenging yet highly fulfilling experiences was working two years at the detox facility after completing my master’s degree. My clients were drug and alcohol users who needed medical detox due to severe withdrawals. The majority of them were in a very vulnerable position. Their loved ones had turned their backs on them, and they’d lost their jobs and homes. This population is known for being brutally honest—they have nothing to lose. They can sense hypocrisy, insincerity, and dishonesty a mile away. I had no choice but to adapt and master my skills of being honest and direct, yet careful and gentle. Even though some of my clients had hit rock bottom, they would still give someone in need “the shirt off their back.” Once, a 16-year-old boy was mistakenly enrolled into the adult facility. He looked scared and confused and had nothing besides his scrubs. Surrounded by muscled guys with tattoos, the boy felt pretty intimidated. When he arrived, “big” guys quieted their conversations, went to the bedroom, and brought so much stuff for the young man that he could not hold it in his arms. There were socks, underwear, snacks, fruits, bottles of water, and more. It was beautiful to observe so much empathy, compassion, and care from the people who had nothing for themselves. My detox clients taught me compassion, humility, and gratitude.

During therapy sessions with the substance use population, I became fascinated with the nature of addiction. I was puzzled as to why so many people wanted to stop using, yet only a small percentage succeeded. Treating addiction at the detox facility inspired me to open my private practice and named it “Serenity Space Therapy.” In my office, I help clients with anxiety, depression, and relationship issues, especially codependency. My primary specialty is assisting high-functioning adults who are experts at hiding their addictive behaviors. My schedule is busy; thus, I always find time to research other aspects of addiction and implement my knowledge during therapy sessions with clients. Addiction is very sneaky, especially if someone has a predisposition. When we think about addiction, we typically imagine chemical substances such as alcohol, drugs, or food. However, addiction can manifest itself in many forms. People can become addicted to behaviors, actions, or feelings. Someone can develop an addiction to tanning, tattooing, body piercing, social media, exercising, to name a few examples. Even healthy eating can be turned into an addiction and lead to malnourishment and death. From this perspective, our pleasure-seeking behaviors govern our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Clients who work with me appreciate my respectful, warm, and compassionate personality. My approach is flexible, adaptive, and highly individualized, always based on the client’s specific needs and goals. I believe that “cookie-cutter” therapy strategies are out of date.

How do you define success?
When I think about success, the first concept that comes to mind is establishing a balanced relationship between your inner dreamer and your inner skeptic. The dreamer believes that life is filled with abundance, and the skeptic takes realistic steps to achieve your goals. Being a dreamer is an excellent source of inspiration, and the abundance is rooted in being grateful, in recognizing and appreciating what you already have. Being a skeptic is equally essential: define your true potentials and true limitations. This means setting reasonable goals and converting illusions into realistic expectations. For example, if you currently make fifty thousand dollars per year and wish to have a million dollars, start by thinking about how you might earn sixty thousand dollars by the end of next year. In collaboration with my clients, I have implemented several ancient yet practical ideas, which might help achieve success. For instance, accepting uncertainty and suppressing fortune telling-tendencies: don’t predict that you’re going to fail. No one knows what the future holds. You may be surprised.